Mensch•Mark For Elul 14: Judging Others Favorably - Machrio L'Chaf Zechut
Recognizing the good in all we encounter
About the Mensch•Mark Series
The Talmudic tractate Avot, 6:6 provides a roadmap as to how to live an ethical life. This passage includes 48 middot (measures) through which we can “acquire Torah.” See the full list here. For each of these days of reflection, running from the first of Elul through Yom Kippur, I’m highlighting one of these middot, in order to assist each of us in the process of soul searching (“heshbon ha-nefesh”).
Today’s Middah: Judging Others Favorably - Machrio L'Chaf Zechut
URJ’s Take:
Translation
Machrio L'Chaf Zechut translates as "influencing others to virtue," or "judging others favorably." Machrio comes from the root chaf-reish-ayin and means "to bend." L'chaf zechut means "to a scale of merit."Text
"The Talmud says that we should always judge other people favorably. We must also judge ourselves favorably". (Rabbi Nachman of Breslav)Commentary
Rabbi Nachman's words in our Text point out the importance of giving people, including ourselves, the benefit of the doubt when judging human actions. He explained that if one judges someone who has erred, harshly, that individual is at risk of feeling so despondent that s/he may find it pointless to even try to change.To illustrate this point, a comparison is made between a person and a soiled garment. A person may have a garment that is so thoroughly soiled that it cannot be cleaned. On the other hand, a fine garment that has a stain can be cleaned and restored to beauty. This metaphor suggests that no one is so bad (soiled) that they cannot change (be cleaned and restored to beauty). If an errant person is encouraged to see themself as fundamentally good, they will strive to be the good person they have the potential to be. (Twerski, Wisdom Each Day, p.321)
The Talmudic sage, Joshua ben Perahiah, said: "When you judge anyone, tip the scale in their favor. Judge the whole of a person favorably." (Pirkei Avot 1:6) Jewish tradition instructs us that when we judge another person, we are to put their misdeeds on one side of a scale and their virtues on the other side of the scale. If the scales are balanced, then we should tip them towards merit. Therefore, when you assess another person, begin with their virtues.
Steven Spielberg produced a movie called Schindler's List in which he told the story of Oscar Schindler, a factory owner who repeatedly risked his life and used his extraordinary ingenuity to save some 1,150 Jews who otherwise would have been murdered by the Nazis. Following the release of the movie, a magazine article appeared that was primarily critical of Schindler, focusing on his reputation as a womanizer. In addition, it pointed out that prior to WWII, Schindler was known as an unscrupulous businessman. While these negative qualities were all genuine, his actions during WWII certainly should tip the scales in his favor.
Jewish ethics also dictate that when you know a person to be largely good, and subsequently learn that they have done something wrong, you should not rush to condemn that individual. Rather try to understand why the person acted as they did, and consider possible excuses for their behavior. If you cannot come up with a logical excuse, then your first reaction should be to judge the wrongful act as an aberration rather than view it as characteristic of the person. (Telushkin, The Book of Jewish Values, p.36)
Marlene Myerson
My Take: Seeing the Good in Everyone and Everything
Jews are eternally grateful. The very word “Jew,” Yehudi, has within it word for gratitude (connected to Todah, which in Hebrew means “thank you.”) This is the ethos that lies behind the great Talmudic proverb which asks, "Who is rich?" and then answers, "Those who rejoice in their own lot." (Avot 4:1)
In raising children, we need to teach that true gratitude, however, includes more than obligatory thanks; they need to learn how to instinctively express hakarat hatov, or recognition of the good that another has done.
We should recognize the good in nature too - in that sense, this middah is a form of environmentalism.
Rabbi Yisrael Salanter once noticed that a fancy restaurant was charging a huge price for a cup of coffee. He approached the owner and asked why the coffee was so expensive. After all, some hot water, a few coffee beans and a spoonful of sugar could not amount to more than a few cents.
The owner replied: "It is correct that for a few cents you could have coffee in your own home. But here in the restaurant, we provide exquisite decor, soft background music, professional waiters, and the finest china to serve your cup of coffee."
Rabbi Salanter's face lit up. "Oh, thank you very much! I now understand the blessing of Shehakol -- 'All was created by God’s word' -- which we recite before drinking water. You see, until now, when I recited this blessing, I had in mind only that I am thanking the Creator for the water that God created. Now I understand the blessing much better. 'All' includes not merely the water, but also the fresh air that we breathe while drinking the water, the beautiful world around us, the music of the birds that entertain us and exalt our spirits, each with its different voice, the charming flowers with their splendid colors and marvelous hues, the fresh breeze -- for all this we have to thank God when drinking our water!"